Missing Scenes: Burdens
by QueenHimiko
Summary: After a rough day being chased by Gaav's minions while traveling to the Kataart Mountains, Gourry and Zel have a talk. Novels continuity, set during "Gaav's Challenge."


**AN:** **I do not own "The Slayers," I just play in the sandbox.**

Gourry sighed as he found a rock to sit on, noting distastefully that enough rainwater had seeped through the forest canopy he was going to get the seat of his pants wet. But then, all things considered, wet pants were the least of his concerns, and the fact that they had lived to worry about something as trivial as wet pants after being chased through the air by several monsters while the forest burned below them perspective gaining.

Gourry glanced around their tiny campsite. He really had not wanted to camp out. Granted, it wasn't as though an inn would offer a tremendous amount of security, but it was better than being out in the open with only one thin tent for shelter and in the rain. Rain, whose pitter patter as it splash against the canopy overheard distorted sounds, meaning Gourry had to be extra alert to make sense of what he was hearing in it. And then the smell of mud and damp clogged his nostrils, and the curtain of rainfall did horrible things to his vision. As if being in a forest wasn't vision impeding enough! And then there was the fact that they didn't dare light a campfire and risk giving away their position, so he was cold, wet, and had to work extra hard to focus. No, all things told, he hated being out in the open like this.

And after spending the day being chased by Raltaak and Rashatt's minions, through the air no doubt as they raced to escape a forest fire, his nerves were shot. And while usually Xelloss' presence made him nervous (he was an ally so long as it was to his advantage after all, and once that ended he would undoubtedly be a powerful enemy) tonight, under these conditions Gourry would not mind an extra powerful ally. Not even one who would turn on them in the future. Getting through the night was what preoccupied him, and even though he could not detect an enemy presence, his senses were compromised enough that he kept worrying that there was something in the forest that he had missed. He just couldn't relax!

He was secretly glad when he and Zel drew the short straw and got first watch. As it was he was feeling so jittery he didn't think he could sleep. So he got out his sword and braced it against his leg, ready to draw at a moment's notice. From a nearby fallen log he could sense Zel observing him. Gourry did not have to wait long to find what was on the chimera's mind, "You okay? You seem tense."

Was Zel genuinely concerned for him? Or was he just worried that he was letting his nerves get in the way of his abilities to guard the camp? "I guess I'm a bit on edge. I mean, those monsters could return at any minute." He said as he listened for the sounds from within the tent. Both Lina and Amelia seemed to be sleeping soundly.

Zel continued to considered him contemplatively. "You really don't like being here, do you?" Zel asked.

Gourry barely stifled a laugh, "Well, now that you mention it, no."

"I must say, I'm impressed how you never let it show when Lina's around. It's like night and day with you as soon as she's gone."

Gourry shrugged, though he was relieved to know he was good at hiding it when she was around, "I met someone a bit before I met Lina, and he told me never to show the girl I love my worried face." He paused a moment when he realized what he'd just admitted, and to Zelgadiss of all people! But the chimera said nothing, so he continued, "I didn't understand it at first. Why would it be so bad to let her know that I'm worried? But after all this it makes sense."

Gourry stopped, pausing to focus on a suspicious sound, but it was only a rabbit scurrying for cover. "What about it makes sense? All of us are nervous, Lina certainly can't fault you for being human." Zel asked, bringing his attention back to the conversation.

"Well, Lina's making big, life or death decisions, right? I mean, the fate of the world rests on her being the hero, doesn't it? Some powerful players are at work, and she doesn't know the reasons for any of this. That's a big burden. So the last thing she needs is to worry about my feelings. She needs to focus on staying alive, not on helping me to feel better. Worrying about that may be the one extra burden that breaks her. So around her I have to pull it together, support her, and try to get her to laugh every now and then and forget the weight she's carrying. It's not much perhaps, but if it helps her survive, then it's worth it."

"So around her you just pretend to be clueless and stupid…"

"Who says I'm pretending?" Gourry asked as cluelessly as possible.

Zel shook his head and then looked out into the forest canopy. "Remind me never to underestimate you."

Gourry furrowed his brow, wondering if Zel was sizing him up, and if he'd given too much away. The worrying thought that, once Xelloss's boss's plan was revealed Zel and Amelia would turn on them was something that troubled Lina greatly. To be honest it was troubling him as well. He wiped his damp hair from his face and took a steadying breath as he marveled at just how paranoid the events of the last few months had made him. Lately, he wasn't sure which was the truth, that Zel and Amelia were traveling to help them, or that they were traveling with them to keep an eye on them.

Gourry suddenly wished that the fisherman was there. Somehow, he was certain the fisherman would be on their side. And he desperately needed someone of his own to talk to. He definitely couldn't burden Lina with this, and continuing this conversation with Zel was too great of a risk. It was then he realized just how much of toll taking care of Lina was exerting on him.

His eyes fell on his sword, and he remembered the moment he almost threw it away. The burdens that came with carrying were just too much to bear. But then, if he had done that, then the world likely wouldn't be here anymore. The fisherman never said that finding a purpose for the sword would make everything easy. After all, having something to fight for implied having a struggle. Suddenly Gourry smiled to himself. Yes, he did have a lot more to lose now, because he had a lot more now than he did then.

He focused on his senses, ignoring the impediments of the rain as best he could. Remembering his resolved seemed to even his frayed nerves. And when Zel asked his next question, Gourry replied as deceptively simple as possible. Nothing would be gained by letting _anyone_ know how worried he was, after all.

 **AN:** **Last one set during the first 8 novels, now onto the latter novels with events not depicted in the anime at all. At least after a couple of years I'm back on this series!**


End file.
